Sunday, May 10, 2009

It's A Miracle

Today is Mother's Day and I am sitting in a quiet house, which doesn't happen very often!  Doug has put Harrison to sleep for a nap and Jackson and Harrison are downstairs playing.  I'm feeling very blessed, sitting here thinking about what the past year has been like for us.

I'm assuming anyone reading this knows that Doug & I have been separated for almost a year now.  At this time last year, we were living in West Plains and had just sold a business that I was running.  Things in our house were not happy, which is an understatement.  I was exhausted, depressed and our marriage was failing. 

In July, I moved out of the house and out of town, to live here in Springfield, where I had a job waiting for me in August.  I brought the boys with me, of course, and began living the single-mom life.  Honestly, it was a relief.  I was really happy, although I felt guilty for feeling that way.  I knew the best thing for the boys was for them to have their family together.  But, even though on-lookers were wondering what I was doing when I left, I truly felt that the Lord was leading me.  The Holy Spirit had really been speaking in my heart that I needed to start being honest about my feelings and telling the truth.  The real truth then was that I wanted out.  The marriage had been failing for a very long time, and I was really tired of speaking and not being heard.  Tired of all the pressure to be a "good" wife and mom when that's not what I felt like at all.

So, I left, much to the dismay of everyone we knew.  The last year has been difficult in many ways, but I have always felt the Lord's presence.  He has taken care of us at every turn and been with me in every decision that was made.  In December, just before Christmas, I filed for divorce and felt good about the decision.  Doug and I were getting along, but felt that it was the best thing to do at that time.  The paperwork began and the arrangements started to be made.  Custody was set up, assets divided and everything was finished.  The court date was scheduled.

However, my heart was so sad for the boys.  My parents are divorced and I knew what it was going to mean for my babies, and it certainly wasn't what I had ever wanted for them.  So, I called Doug and we talked.  I told him that I would postpone the hearing for 40 days.  I figured that God had used 40 days in several scenarios in the Bible.  If he could flood the earth in 40 days, He could save my marriage if He wanted to.  Long story short - that's exactly what He did.

I told Doug that I would do whatever he arranged as far as counseling was concerned, if he wanted to go.  He hadn't been open to that before.  He made reservations for us to go to an "intensive" at the National Institute of Marriage in Branson, Mo.  It was a 4-day group counseling program, founded by Gary Smalley, which was the turning point in our journey.    That was the first week in March.

Today is May 10, approximately 60 days since the intensive.  We are still separated, still seeing a counselor who is connected to NIM, but working toward Doug moving in with us.  I turned in my resignation this past week and informed the school that I wouldn't be teaching in the fall.  I'm so looking forward to being at home with the boys.  It's Mother's Day and the five of us went to church together this morning, after the boys coming in with cards and gifts for me this morning. 

Wow.  God really is in the miracle-making business.  I'm so amazed, there aren't even words to describe it.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is nothing but the work of the Lord.  I've given you the "nuts and bolts" of a very long story with all the details missing.   God was in ever detail.  Every decision.  New friendships created.  New churches.  New sermons & worship experiences.  New jobs.  New homes.  New neighbors.  New small groups.  God was in every single one of them.  He didn't leave us - not for a even a moment.  I tried hard to listen and be open and follow....and He led us here, to May 10, 2009.  Mother's Day at Parkcrest Assembly of God in Springfield, Mo.  To a house at 3312 S. Leawood Ave. where one toddler is taking his afternoon nap and two "big boys" are working with their Dad in the garage to build mom three new garden boxes.  There are nine more "work days" (as Carter says) until I get to spend every day with the people I love most in the world.  I am so blessed... it's unimaginable.  

4 comments:

  1. Jodi, this is an amazing story!! I am so happy for you and will keep you and your family in my prayers daily! We all know God has a plan and always there!!! My best wishes to you and Doug!!!

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  2. I am so happy that God is leading you! He is in the restoring business! Keep seeking and He will be faithful! HE always is!
    Love,
    Steph

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  3. Happy Mothers Day! You are so right...the last year has been quite a journey for both of us. A year ago, you and the kids were visiting me (and the baby soon to be known as AJ) at the hospital and look at us now! Between our two experiences, I've become a much stronger Believer and I know God has been answering prayers for both of us this year. I can't wait for you to be at home with the kids...it means more visits to ME! :-)
    Love you,
    Kate

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  4. I am so happy for you! You will be missed at school. A big part of me would like to be a stay at home mom too, but it's not realistic just yet.

    You cloth diaper? (from the sidebar) I'm getting into it, as of the past month or so, and I LOVE it.

    We're going to try square foot gardening in raised beds too. I'll be interested to see how yours progresses. We are really having issues with the weather and gardening this year. I'm not sure how it's going to turn out.

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